Personal Reflections on the Self Essay Example for Free

Personal Reflections on the Self EssayIcertify thatthe attachedpaper is my master copy work and has not previously been submitted by me or any sensation else for any class. I further declare I have cited all sources from which I usedlanguage, ideas, and information,whether quotedverbatim or paraphrased, and that any assistance of any kind, which I received while producing this paper, has been acknowledged in the References section. I have obtained written permission from the copyright bearer for any trademarked material, logos, or images from the Internet or other sources. I further agree that my reference typedon the line below is intended to have, and shall have, the same validity as my handwritten signature. Studentssignature (name typed present is equivalent to a signature) Marjorie Neal When we talk ab off self, it is generally meant to be a reflection of an individuals identity and separate from others and the environment (Huitt, 2009). The most widely used concepts when it comes to self are the self-concept and self-esteem. Self-esteem is the aesthesis of self worth and dictates how we feel ab start ourselves where self-concept is dictated by how an individual answers the question who am I? (Myers, 2008).Research has shown that self-concept is the basis for all motivated conduct because self-concept that provides individuals with possible selves and those possible selves create the motivation for behavior (Huitt, 2009). Self-concept is built through the process of taking action and reflecting on the action one has taken as well as what others tell him about what he has done (Huitt, 2009). We are not born with a self-concept. Self-concept is developed through interaction with the environment and ones reflection of that interaction. Self-concept has four parts self-image, self-esteem, ideal-self and self-efficacyMy baby had all the friends that my parents approved of, she got the ingenuous grades, she was not in special education classes and at ho me make-up cards and progress reports were constantly compared. I never heard that I was doing a great tune or that I had improved on this subject or that it was always how wonderful my sisters grades were compared to my Cs that I worked very hard for in the early years. By the third grade I was goat in reading and math so I had to go to special classes to get help on those subjects. I not only felt inadequate at home but the other students in school make me feel very stupid and not good enough.I was picked on at school and called all sorts of names from stupid to Margarine to Rhino. Looking back it was kids being kids and picking on me because they could see that it bothered me. I used to come home in tears and all my parents verbalize was to ignore them and they would stop but they did not stop. I was in the loser mathematical group and there was no getting out of it. By third grade I believed them. When I entered Junior High School, I started off in the lowest group for my c lasses, the one that all the troublemakers were in and all the stupid kids.I got tired of being lumped with those kids and decided I could do better so I decided I was passing to work hard and talk to my teachers about moving up a group. In ordinal grade I went from group four to group three at the half way dismantle in the year. This gave me a bit of a boost but I stable was not happy. I wanted to be one of the smart kids like my sister was so that my parents would be proud. So in seventh grade I worked harder and talk to my teachers and I was sparkd from group three into group two. I was feeling better about myself and continued to push harder until I was finally in group one by the end of the eighth grade.Being in group one meant I could take the college take classes I wanted to take in High School, it also meant that I was just as good as my sister was but that did nothing for me at home because I was struggling to pull Cs and my sister was still pulling As. Nonetheless, I was proud of my accomplishment and myself so I tried college level classes in High School. I did fine in college English but not so good in Math. I found that high school was very difficult for me and subsequently all those years of trying to be as good as my sister I still could not pull the same grades no matter how hard I worked at it.I gave up and stopped taking college level classes with the hope that the other classes would be easier for me and I could pull the As and Bs that my parents were so proud of my sister for getting. When I continued to struggle my freshman and intermediate year I gave up and decided that I was going to do what it took to get those Cs and nothing more. I became very discouraged. Then my parents separated and we moved from my hometown to the Cape with my aunt so I had to change schools half way through my sophomore year.I was happy with that, a new group of kids to meet and different expectations by the kids I already knew in that school so this wa s going to be easy and that was my easiest semester ever. I finally got the good grades that I was looking for and my produce stopped criticizing me for my choice in friends. She actually approved of most of my friends. My sister at that point became the problem child. Then it all strike down apart. My mother decided that she was going to take a job in Boise, Idaho and my sister and I had to move with her across the country.I had finally adjusted to the idea of my parents getting a divorce and now she was going to take me away from all of my life long friends and everything I knew. My attitude, self-esteem and everything went right down the toilet. When we got to Idaho I didnt care anymore. I was going to do what I had to do to graduate and get out of my mothers house so I could go back to Massachusetts where I knew mass and I was home. I do poor choices in friends, poor choices in behavior, and poor choices in my schoolwork all because the only thing I could see was anger.I wa s so angry with both of my parents, my mother for making me move to Idaho and my father for not fighting to keep us in Massachusetts. It was like my touch did not matter and once again my sister was the queen. All the good I had done in junior high and down the Cape did not matter anymore. I graduated from high school, glowering down a military career and moved back to Massachusetts where I met my first married man. It was a marriage destined to fail. My first husband was very abusive verbally and emotionally. He constantly made me feel like I was not worth the dirt I walked on.I was diagnosed bipolar two years after we got married and he never took the time to learn about it, said he didnt believe in mental illness and did not help me find the help I needed so it was a very rocky ten-year marriage. I did get two wonderful children out of the marriage though, of that I was thankful and challenged. After my first husband and I divorced, I met my current husband. He is the exact opp osite of my first husband. We have a very good relationship. It was the relationship with my first husband and all the abuse that I went through in the ten years we were married and my childhood experiences that made me who I am today.